Monday, August 11, 2008


Boy, it has been awhile since I updated. Wish I could say it was because things were moving so well and so fast that I didn't think to update. In fact, the opposite is true. Things are changing so slowly.

And my mind is blank.

He is still able to move his toes up. Maybe a bit more then before. Not much. The front of his foot is still terribly turned. I am beginning to suspect that it will be his norm. That his foot will never be completely straight. I am trying hard to come to terms with that. Of course, Matthew does not question it. He just moves forward.

And he is still growing. Another 1/2 inch since June. No change in wt though. I put him on the scale the other night, 37.6 lbs. Oiy. The growth means his foot can't possibly stretch as fast as he is growing. What does that mean? I am not sure. We see his surgeon in November.

But, as an outsider, most people won't see it. Kids will though. They see every difference. That is my fear. He needs to be strong, and be independent. He needs to be confident, so he can ignore what they will say. He needs to be strong willed. He needs to be a leader. Most importantly, he needs parents to instill that in him. It is a tall order. He has the basics of those characteristics, but they need molding.

I need to step up to the plate.

A good friend of mine gave a stone that has the word BELIEVE carved into it. I have it on my kitchen counter so that every morning, I walk down the stairs and it is the first word that I see. It is a powerful word and I embrace it. I need to believe in the doctors, in the science that I hold so near to my heart, to Matthew, and to myself. It was the most wonderful gift. It inspires me, as I need it. Daily.

I have some big shoes to fill.