Not a good day

Well, today was not the best day.

I picked Matthew up from school and he wanted to stay and play with his friends. I reminded him that we had to see Dr K at the hospital so we had to leave. He got really mad and took his AFO off and threw it on the floor. It cracked in half. No fixing it. It's garbage.

When he looked at me, he was on the verge of tears and so angry but he was holding it together because his friends were standing right there. I know how he was feeling, because I was feeling the same and just holding it together because all of his friend's moms were standing right there.

I got his boots on and we got into the van were both of us broke down crying. It was a rare moment. I usually hold it together with him, but today I couldn't. We sobbed all the way home and when we got home, we all cuddled and Matthew and I cried. He finally was able to tell me that he was so scared and angry because he is worried that he will need another operation. He wanted me to tell him that he would never have any more, but I couldn't because that is not a promise I can keep.

We finally got ourselves together and went to the hospital where we had a rather awful appt. Dr. K is really disappointed at the tightness in Matthew's foot as well as he has 10% equinus back. That means his foot is no longer neutral and can not be brought into neutral. We are fighting massive growth and losing. He debated casting him now but decided not to.

He said that he is hoping we can hold off the next surgery for a yr, but he is not sure it can wait that long. His foot is regressing way to quickly. The good news is the next surgery will not be as invasive as the last. He would only need a minimum of 1 night in the hospital (maybe 2) and he would go home in a walking cast.

Oh, and he needs a new AFO. Not just because he broke his, but because he can;t have it in neutral anymore.

So I am bummed out, Matthew is emotionally spent and I am sure he will be upset for a few more days. And, we have to start the whole AFO fitting process from scratch... again.

I think I need a few days to process this.