Comfort in a Plan

I've made a plan. I suppose the plan only give me comfort... not Matthew. He only knows that Monday morning means school and has been wracked with stress and tears off and on all weekend. But I have a plan and it empowers me. I will be doing something, rather then sitting back watching my child in agony over what most kids find normal.

I have written a letter to his teacher.

Dear Mrs. ,

As you have noticed, Matthew is feeling very anxious about school. This has been an issue in the past and he is doing better then before. That said, he is still experiencing difficulty and we are trying to come up with some solutions to help with his transition.

Currently, Matthew is finding recess to be especially difficult. He is overwhelmed by the noise and activity. He has told me that he sits on the stairs and cries until the bell rings. I am hoping that with a bit of support, we can make recess more enjoyable and hopefully school less stressful.

He has told me that he is scared without an adult that he knows amongst all the children. I have told him that there are adult supervisors (with the orange vests) outside but he is too anxious to seek them out. I was wondering if it were possible for you to introduce him to one of the supervisors at the start of recess. I am assuming that the supervisors change either daily or weekly, but an introduction to another adult may help him to seek out the supervisor next time.

I have chatted with another Mom of a boy in your class who is also new to the school and is feeling lost. I am trying to get the boys together for a short play date this week to see if both boys could benefit from a friendship. I was wondering if you would be able to encourage that friendship at recess.

We are also working at home to help ease his transition. We talk about school and listen to his fears. He knows that he will not be allowed to stop going to school and that we hold education, schools and teachers in high regards. We stay positive and try to point out the successes he has had already. We are going to start tracking on a calendar when he has a successful morning or afternoon to show him that he is having fun and that each week, hopefully, he will be having more success.

We are also contacting some support people we have used in the past to see if they have any new coping strategies for Matthew to try.

We would be grateful for any suggestions from you as to what else we can be doing at home to help out. Please feel free to contact me at

So Monday morning at 7:55 am I am going to call the school and see if I can talk with his teacher. Failing that (or maybe just because) I will send the letter onwards to her.

I am also going to try to talk to the other boy's mom and see if he can come over Monday afterschool.

I am also going to call his o/t from last yr and see if he has any suggestions. If he can help, we would gladly pay for private sessions. I have searched for pressure shirts (deep pressure vests, weighted vests and compression shirts) with little luck. I am going to ask if the o/t has any leads.

I am also going to call his psychologist from last year and see what she can offer.

I feel better. Unfortunately, Matthew, does not.