Unsettled or How Big Is Your Ego Anyways?

If you have been following along on this crazy train, you will remember that on Friday Feb 13 I tried to get in to see Matthew's surgeon to talk to him about seeing Dr Dobbs.

Guess who called my late yesterday afternoon? Yup, only 4 1/2 weeks after trying to speak with him, he called. Seems he just received the referral letter that I wanted to speak with him about seeing Dr Dobbs. He apologized and gave me a number for his secretary so in the future I can get a hold of him a lot sooner.

That concluded the nice part of the conversation. The next thing he said to me was "What hat did you pull this name out of?" It went downhill fast after that.

To summarize the conversation, basically he feels I am searching for a Ponseti trained doctor for a second opinion and that I have gone 'internet shopping' (his exact words). He feels I should have come to him and he could refer me to a better doctor, either the one that he works with (Ummmm, how is it a second opinion if it is your colleague?) or one in Seattle. That Dobbs is good, but not the best.

That was hard to hear. This is the man that I have trusted with my son's problems for six years. To have a professional tell me that I have not found the best doctor was hard to hear. Maybe I didn't look hard enough, maybe I have jumped into this with my eyes closed, maybe I should just make an appointment and have Matthew seen by his doctor again.

Professionals can yield a lot of power over a desperate mother.

The call did end on a somewhat positive note. He told me that if I did seek a second opinion (No, I didn't say we were going, I didn't get much time to talk and I was in a bit of shock) that I should make sure I send his file. I was able to say that I was not unhappy with his current care, but that I wanted to make sure that there wasn't something else out there that could be done. He did say he understood that I need to be Matthew's advocate and that if I need to talk to give him a call.

Sheesh. Talk about feeling unsettled.

Then I spoke with my husband. Funny, I was unsettled and unsure of what to do after the conversation. My husband on the other hand said the conversation left him feeling more sure about what we were doing then ever before. He said that most likely it was ego talking.

I had to go over in my mind the things I am not happy with here.

1. I have been asking for physio for Matthew since 2007. His surgeon keeps telling me to this day that it is unnecessary.
2. His surgeon explained Matthew's surgery to us but never once mentioned the possibility of bone surgery. He did that without us knowing.
3. He doesn't want to see Matthew until June. He seems to be waiting to do more surgery rather then prevent or prolong it.

And then I checked my email. A mom from the US with a son with neuromuscular clubfoot was asking what shoes/AFO's to go with a brace. Here in Canada, I was not given options so unfortunately I was no help. She emailed her son's doctor (Dr Dobbs) and found out he is in Hawaii on vacation. She thought she would have to wait awhile for a response. She didn't. He emailed her back from his vacation with the answer she was looking for. Amazing.

Thank you, that helped me so much. I do believe that this is a great doctor despite what I heard yesterday.

10 days and counting.